Konoha Vacation
by crossgrave
Summary: Temari and Kankuro think that Gaara needs a break from being big ol' Kazekage, so they decide to take him to Konoha for a week. Gaara thinks it's too good to be true, and Temari proves him right.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first attempt at writing a fic. Go easy on me, will ya? **Reviews are much appreciated, thank you.**

**Konoha Vacation**

It was a lovely day in Sunagakure. The sun was shining, the sandstorm had died down, and Gaara's desk had miraculously cleared itself of paperwork. The red haired Kazekage yawned and stretched his arms, content to finally have a moment to kick back and relax after so many weeks of insurmountable work, which mysteriously disappeared. He swore he hadn't gotten through a quarter of the pile. Almost too good to be true.

The Kazekage stood up and looked outside his window. The village was quiet for once, and he enjoyed the absence of Temari and Matsuri. _Loudmouthed kunoichi... Che._

Suddenly, the door to his previously peaceful office burst open. "GAARA! I have fantastic news!" screeched his pig-tailed sister, Temari.

Her brother looked up at her. "What is it now?" he intoned, inwardly sighing as his comfortable silence evaporated. _I have a bad feeling about this. Trust the gut, Gaara. Trust the gut._

Temari smiled wickedly. "We have official permission from the council to give you a whole week's vacation, in none other than the lovely temperate climate of Konoha."

The one-time jinchuuriki raised the skin above his eye that was currently lacking an eyebrow. "Is that so? That's surprising." _That's probably how and why all my work went missing. Because Temari took it and is planning to bombard me with it when we get back._

He looked at the excited kunoichi in front of him. She was pleased, that much was obvious. Why was she so excited? A little break would be pleasant, and Kami knew he deserved it, but wasn't she overreacting? _Something about this sounds fishy… What does SHE have to gain from it? It's surprising that the council let me off for a week in the first place._

"What's the catch?" Gaara glanced at her suspiciously. An event too good to be true usually… wasn't true.

Temari batted her blonde eyelashes at her glaring brother innocently. "What catch, Gaara-chan? Kankuro and I just thought you could use a little break is all. You've been working so hard lately."

_Ever since you lost that goddamn tanuki, she's been bugging you more and more. I think I liked it better when she was too afraid to talk to you, _the redhead admonished himself. "Fine. But if you try anything…" he let the impending threat hang in the air.

The sand kunoichi smirked at him. "No worries. You just let the peace and quiet relax you, Gaara. Kan-kun and I will take care of the arrangements, so all you need to do is pack for yourself!"

_…I don't think the intimidation angle works anymore._ Gaara sighed, which his sister took as submission. She beamed at him again, and turned on her heel, no doubt mentally calculating how many bottles of sunscreen she should bring.

_A break will be nice, if it actually turns out to be one, _he mused. What were the chances of that? _Slim to none, Gaara. Slim to none._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'll try to update as much as possible, but school's coming up in a few days. I'll try my best! **Reviews are love. **

**Konoha Vacation**

The almighty Kazekage of Sunagakure was in a bus.

Now, this was no ordinary bus. This particular bus smelled funny, a little like gym socks dipped in tar, put on a barbeque and then rolled in a pig sty. The aforementioned stench was most probably from years of sweating tourists drenching the cheap vinyl-covered seats with holes in them. The seat padding was worn so thin that Gaara had opted to sit on a layer of sand to protect his behind from the multitudes of bumps and potholes that _Kami knows _that the driver was surely aiming for. Surely. Not to mention he had been seated between his annoying siblings for 'security reasons'.

"Holding up all right, Gaara?" the ever-idiotic Kankuro queried. _Does it LOOK like I'm alright? _his mind roared. Unknownst to him, he looked perfectly fine, despite his churning stomach. He had always hated cars, and buses were simple cars with more seats, and seat padding that definitely needed improvement. They also lacked seatbelts, so nothing was standing in the way of a grisly, painful, gasoline-and-flame-induced death but the shitty seat padding on top of which he was perched.

Gaara sent him a death glare. The (in his sour opinion) overly bossy, obnoxious and much too smug looking Temari smiled at him soothingly. "I think we're almost there, Gaa-kun," she assured him. This did little to placate the carsick Kazekage, and he sent her a death glare (patent pending) as well.

A particularly bumpy patch of road sent him sprawling despite his desperate attempts to remain upright. He banged against the side of the bus wall, knocking Temari's open backpack from her lap and spilling papers everywhere. One of them caught his eye while he was vertical to the floor and he scanned it. _KONOHA E-HARMONY PRESENTS THE ONE-TIME... SERIES OF BLIND DATES!! ONE WEEK ONLY! _screamed the hot pink flier.

Everything clicked. Why Temari was so excited about the trip and also why she made him pack a suit. A suit. On vacation. Gaara, the feared Kazekage of Suna, Shukaku's host, the ichibi, in a suit. He himself thought that the getup made him look like a yakuza pit boss, but Temari told him that he was dashing. She was trying to set him up with a couple of girls whose names he didn't even know. For Kankuro and her entertainment. He stared at Kankuro, who was still smiling at him obliviously.

"...Temari," he said, restraining the urge to smash her into little tiny bits right inside the bus, but deciding against it because then he would probably destroy the piece of shit the bus company called a vehicle and would consequently have to walk. See, Gaara is capable of complex thought processes too! "What is this about?" he asked calmly, brandishing the floral sheet of paper. _If she has any intelligence at all, she'll look ashamed. Or better yet, tell you that's for her and not you! OR that Kankuro is having girl problems again, and that she's doing him a favor and that he was too embarrassed to-_

"It's for you!" the she-devil chirped, looking pleased with herself. "Since you're so busy with being Kage and all, Kankuro and I thought that having a few dates with pretty Konoha girls would put you at ease. You seemed so stressed out and withdrawn lately," she murmured. Said puppet master nodded with a look of brotherly concern plastered all over his features.

_How can she make you feel guilty? It's stunts like THESE that put you on edge! _"Thanks for the thought, but no thanks," he explained flatly.

"Did I mention that the council approved of this and also funded it? If you refuse, they'll put you under investigation on the premises of going against their unamimous decision," Temari cackled.

Gaara looked at her blankly. Was his sister TRYING to put him in an early grave? And how on earth did she convince the council to vote on something as trivial as this? And an UNANIMOUS decision? Unheard of!

"They thought it would be a good way to build relationships with the general Konoha population, and boost your popularity by showing what a well-rounded gentleman you really are!" she explained, reading the look on his face, which was quite a phenomenal feat because of the fact that almost all of Gaara's expressions looked practically the same.

"Hn," was all he could manage. _I'm probably going to end up killing someone, and that'll breach the treaty, not to mention make me really popular with the locals. The council will tan my hide for ruining what image I have left. _

His gut told him that this was not going to end well. _Trust the gut, Gaara._

"Okay, Kazekage-sama. Your room is ready," the receptionist informed Gaara. He nodded politely, and let her lead him and his siblings to a comfortable three-bed room of the Konoha Inn.

It was the nicest one the inn offered, since he had the enormous budget of a Kage to blow before they left town. "Thanks," Temari called after the hostess turned to leave the room. She smiled carefully at them, and left.

Gaara sighed and sat down on one of the three fluffy beds that had been prepared for them. _That was the bus ride from hell. _He made a mental note to improve the quality of the Suna buses when he got back to his office.

Kankuro sat next to him. "You better get unpacked, because I think your first date is in an hour," he informed his younger brother. Gaara sat bolt upright and glared accusingly at both his siblings at the same time. Kankuro bent over and whispered, "This was all Temari's idea. Try not to kill anyone, or destroy any major buildings." Gaara nodded sagely, and made another mental note to kill his sister more painfully than his brother.

Temari clapped her hands together gleefully. She took a notebook out of her backpack, and scanned the list she had recorded there. "Alrighty, your lucky lady tonight is... none other than the_ lovely _Haruno Sakura!"

Gaara resisted the urge to roll his eyes and tried to recall anyone or anything in his mental inventory that went by the name of Haruno Sakura. "What's she like?" he asked, unable to come up with anything.

"I think she was at our first chuunin exams. Pink hair," she recalled, gesturing at her head.

_Oh yeah... Uzumaki Naruto's teammate. _She was the one who had fought Yamanaka Ino in the prelims, and ended up in a tie. _She's also the one who you sealed to a tree and threatened to kill. _Even though the tanuki was gone, he still had thoughts that sounded awfully like the demon. He guessed that it was actually him all along. _This is just great, I have a date with a girl I almost killed. Way to make a first impression, dude!_

Temari studied his features. "Gaara, are you actually NERVOUS?" she asked. There was a first time for everything, after all.

"...I've never been on a date," he said emotionlessly. "What does one do on such a 'date'?"

"First, you take a girl out for dinner. Then, you cope a feel while you're having dessert. AND THEN-" Kankuro waved his arms animatedly before getting smacked upside the head by his irrate sister.

"Well Gaara, since the whole point of this is to make a good impression on Konoha in general, you should be polite and warm towards her. I've already arranged for you to take her out for dinner at a French restaurant, and then a movie."

He nodded, the action becoming second nature towards information he hadn't digested yet.

"Don't worry and just be yourself. Now get dressed!" Temari snapped at him. "If you're late, then you've already made a bad impression on her." She handed him a map and shoved his clothes at him.

_...I think my gut was right about this one._

A/N: Review if you liked it please! :)


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